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The Epitome of Useless Crap . . . (At the Moment)

Thursday, February 26, 2009
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Would be this song:

I mean, in how many ways is this song just bad?  First, and most obviously, it seems to be telling women that their only goal in life should be getting married (what ever happened to female emancipation and all that stuff?  Did it just turn out to be too hard?)

Then, of course, there are the actual lyrics, a sampling of which are below:

Now put your hands up
Up in the club, we just broke up
I’m doing my own little thing
you Decided to dip but now you wanna trip
Cuz another brother noticed me
I’m up on him, he up on me
dont pay him any attention
cuz i cried my tears, for three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me

Wow.  Deep.

Then, to the dancing in the video.  Is that dancing?  Some of it looks like dancing, but a lot of it is just running around in circles, and the rest of it is like she’s trying to immitate a dressage competition (especially that whole ass-slapping ‘I’m a horse/I’m a jockey’ bit).  Then there are the completely weird, random moves, such as the ‘I’m a little tea-pot’ throwback, and the ‘I’m punching the ground’ number.

The bridge sounds completley out of place in the song.

The whole quick-cutting part at the end is just odd and distracting, and I don’t know why she’s wearing what seems to be a gold-plated Nintendo Power Glove, unless she’s trying to tell us that she knows that little video game sound that reappears throughout the song is ripped-off from some game c. 1989 and she just don’t care.

But . . .

But.  See, here’s the thing . . .

I can’t get the fucking thing out of my head.  It’s dementedly catchy.  It’s horrible, but it won’t go away, and I find myself with the toe-tapping.

And it did give us this:

And this (you won’t believe the ending!):

So . . . well, maybe not all bad.
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